Ask the SB: Spectacular Bitch or Crazy Bitch?

Q: Dearest SB,
 
I work with a woman who, for me, vacillates between SB and Crazy B. She’s fun, outgoing, not afraid to wear the highest of high heels in the most ridiculous situations and goes martini for martini with the boys.  

However, sometimes her constant use of the word “Benzie” when referring to her car and demeaning anything she deems beneath makes me want to call my cousin Micky “Bag of Donuts” Salerno from Chicago. Thoughts?  
 
Also, might I add, your regular stream of commentary on twitter and this site is delightful.  
 
Respectfully,
 
Kev_not_Kev

A: Kev, this is an excellent question and a good time to remind ourselves of this rule: high heels and a high tolerance do not an SB make.

We try to refrain from bashing other women here on SB, but we all have our limits and mine, it turns out, falls way short of the term “Benzie.”

Had she crept out to her garage in the middle of the night after having bought the car with her hard earned money and curled up on the hood in her bathrobe and whispered I love you Benzie, then I might be able to forgive her. But throwing the term around outside the privacy of her own garage, in front of witnesses is unforgivable and evidence of deep insecurity – which is SO not the SB way.

I don’t know if she’s crazy, but she’s definitely clueless. Steer clear before she asks you to dog sit for her tiny purse dog named Prada.

Now let’s talk about your cousin Micky “Bag of Donuts.” Sounds like my kind of guy. Is he tall?

xo,
SB

Photo credit: Studio Car Modification