Ask the SB: When You’ve Been There with the Hair

Q: Oh, SB! What’s a mid-40′s girl to do with her hair? My go-to pony just isn’t cutting it anymore. Please advise.

-LDK

A: First of all, LDK, I must caution you to be patient. Please, darling – don’t do anything rash.

From what I can tell, it is this very issue that sends scads of mid-40′s women to the salon to chop off their hair in a fit of pique. Then they’re stuck with short, grown-up hair for the rest of their days. That is not to say that short hair is old hair, but if you were a pixie or short-bob type of gal, you would know it by now.

Let’s talk about your pony. Ponyentomologists have spent decades studying the effects, both psychological and sociological, of ponytail placement. It is a science worth exploring.

Have you tried moving it around on your head? I will grant you that a standard, back-of-the-head, athletic pony can get boring. It says: I’m all about business - whether that business be cranking out 40 minutes on the treadmill or making coq au vin.

Try bringing your pony low to the nape, for a soignée look that whispers I am intelligent, calm and French.

Bring it high for an instant face lift and a kick of joie de vivre. I’m not talking the top of the head like a water spout, but the top of the back of the head. This placement says, I’m fun, young and game.

And bring it to the side when you’re ready for a night on the town. The vertical placement along the side indicates just how much you want to party. The girl in the image is saying I’m ready for a chatty dinner out with maybe one too many glasses of wine. To avoid looking like a hooker circa 1987, don’t go above the ear without a corresponding move toward the back.

Finally, if all else fails, pony up for some cute hats. But you knew that.

Smooches,

SB